To-do lists, future in-laws, the tiniest of mundane details – they all demand your attention – and the resulting stress can overpower what’s supposed to be a joyous time period in your life. So how do you reduce stress?

Here are some ways that you can reduce the stress of wedding planning and the wedding day itself:

Reclaim yourself –

Keep doing those activities that comprised your free time before wedding planning seized your soul. J Don’t stop doing them. Take that time to yourself and enjoy the relaxation that comes with doing something that you enjoy. Even if just for a few hours a week – it will make a world of difference. Emerge from the pile of fabric swatches, font styles and contracts and……just….B-R-E-A-T-H-E. Step away from wedding planning, and take time to enjoy yourself.


When was the last time you spoke with your best friend or sister and the conversation did NOT include the wedding? Losing contact is easy when you’re busy and your wedding is consuming your life. Take the time – yes MAKE the time to reconnect with your closest friends, and when you do – ask THEM about their lives. Ok, I know they’re going to ask, so go ahead and keep them up-to-date on your wedding planning – but PLEASE – make sure the primary conversation is about other aspects of your life. You do have a life, remember?

Cater to someone else for a change –

Yes, it’s all about you. But don’t let that get you caught up in the selfishness of being a bride. Do something unexpected for someone else – as often as you can. Take a break from wedding planning (horrors!!) and cook a friend dinner, do a little volunteering, babysit for a couple who could use a break…You will be surprised how good (and relaxed) you will feel by making others feel good, and you will immediately reduce stress. This is also a great tip for your wedding day itself. Yes, you’re got a bee hive buzzing around you but try to focus on helping someone else just a little that day – maybe your maid of honor, or your dad (who by the way is nervous too!)


Spend quality time with you-know-who (that would be your fiancé )

Wait, you’re getting married because…. you love each other right? So be sure to keep showing each other that you mean it! Wedding planning sucks the life out of couples. They often struggle to find quality time with one another in the present. Make sure you don’t neglect each other now. Staying focused on the life you want to build with each other is the best way to begin a marriage on the right foot. Building that life together should always be your top priority, (remember – it IS the reason you’re planning this wedding!!) Try to have some romantic evenings together and try NOT to talk about the wedding. Focus on each other and your future together beyond the wedding day.


Most of all, don’t lose sight of what’s important and don’t lose sight of yourself. Keeping this in mind will reduce wedding stress – I promise! Then you’ll be able to savor every moment of your engagement, and arrive at your wedding positively radiant.

Ben Poston is a wedding officiant in Raleigh, North Carolina and owner of Ben Poston Weddings